Cat-Nappin'

Catatonic Recuperation, Sunnyside May 21,201

This is how I spent the entirety of my Saturday. Safe to say, I think this sums up the past few days.



Do you work a M-F, 9-5? How do you spend your weekends? Are you more of a "I-need-to-recuperate-and-relax" like myself or do you prefer to spend off days being actively out & about?

Lovin' is what I got

Birthday Latte, @DoraCoffee, LES, NYC, May 16, 2011

(In an effort to avoid whining about the fact I'll have spent the second day in a row on my hands and knees scrubbing our new office space in the basement of a project that hasn't been used in two years nor cleaned, I'm auto-setting this post before I have a reason to complain about more things and sharing the happier moments from the past few days.)

24th Birthday & Graduation Weekend, NYC, May 15, 2011

24th Birthday & Graduation Weekend, NYC, May 15,2011

Birthday Sapphires & Love, Sunnyside, May 16, 2011

Birthday Ohana, Sunnyside, May 16, 2011

Keep on smiling!

2 years 2 many

As I've mentioned, recent weeks have been hectic. But from them came Jon's 24th birthday and our two-year anniversary. (Did you know 2 years stands for cotton or china? Or something like that)

So. For the sake of my lovely boo, I am here to commemorate these past couple of years. And cheers to many more. Instead of flowery words I just wanted to share some smiley pics. We are a pair for words with few flicks to parade our silliness.

Here's to loving to live and living to love.

S's Smiley face

Smile.

This is a main motto in my life. Even if it's not a completely genuine smile, just displaying that grin will gradually help it grow into authenticity. Like sneezes, smiles are contagious.

Smiling, I believe (and has been "proven"), makes others likely to smile in reciprocity. And simply smiling at someone who gazes your way may have such a positive impact on their day: you never know when someone else desperately needs a friendly twinkle.

Even in my current state of on the verge of being swallowed by work and others irresponsibility. I'm trying to grin and bear in. Move forward through the next two weeks of intensity.

As Vitamin C once sang, "put a smile on your face, make the world a better place".

"Story of my life", Custom shirt, Downtown Disney April 2011-

Side note: I'd also like to come back and revisit this topic when I have a chance to breathe and properly articulate my thoughts.

Playful P

I thought I had managed to post yesterday from my phone. But apparently I'm not that crafty yet. Here are a few quick flicks taken from my fancy phone. 

We got home late last night and I'm still in a vacation coma. Hopefully I'll be able to write and visit everyone within the next day. Who knew a mini 3-day play-cation could leave you totally pooped?

Quick point being, play is a necessity in life! Despite being totally exhausted, we had a blast and definitely needed the chance to play around :)

Butterbeer is better, Harry Potter World, IOA, April 2011

Story of my life, Downtown Disney, April 2011

Ohana means family <3, Epcot, April 2011

Day 2 beginnings, IOA, April 2011

M is for Michelle's mother Mabel

Thanksgiving 2009, Camp Hill, PA

My mom is a bit bananas. And significantly older than me (she had me at 39 in the 80s!) Now that I'm older and not constantly surrounded by her, I can appreciate her level of looniness.

Like many mother and daughters, we had quite the rough patch during my teen years. Partly I attribute to her menopause, partly to my hormonal teenage-ary, partly because a lot of anger I had in me from their divorce came out. She kicked me out of the house so many times I ran out of friends to stay with.

But, for the most part we have overcome these bouts of emotional lunacy. Again, I believe this is mainly because we don't live in the same immediate radius. (If I were, I'm positive she would randomly burst into my house whenever she wants without notice, because thats her nature...and thats what she does to my brother.)

Now that I'm a bit older and very slightly wiser, I can understand my mom better when she hits her lows or becomes too needy. I can also tolerate my temper enough to not yell at her for silly things: I can pick our battles.

And interestingly enough, my mom now regards me as an "expert" and often asks me my opinion on psychologically or any brain-sciency oriented things. (Oh how the tables have turned!) My mom is NOT a dumb lady. I might have been a latch-key kid out of necessity, but she did the best she could to satisfy my wants beyond my needs. I look at some of my friends that grew up in dual-parent households and I see the difference of how growing up with a single mom had a positive effect on my sense of self.

For better or worse, I've inherited her: mood swings, sense of independence, strength, smile, sense of humor, cleanliness...and that's about it. When I think about it, we are far more different than similar. But we get along. And she's always by my side when I need her.

Every year I write her a nice letter for mothers day and her birthday. I'm (almost) 24 and I usually make her a cheesy present instead of buying one- and she always loves it because she's that kind of mom. And I know I don't say it much aloud, but I love her for being my mom, being herself, and teaching me how to become a strong woman.

Thanks, mom.

New Years 2007, Jojo's, Camp Hill, PA

New Years 2008, Jojo's, Camp Hill, PA

Kidding around with K

Crazy Rafiki, Disneyworld May 15 ,2009

I am not a serious person. I can be serious for a while. I can act like a grown up. But my nature is to laugh, hysterically. I kid around like nobody's business. I find terribly corny jokes hilarious. I live for fun.

I get this sense of juvenile joy from my mom. My mom is all about embracing the humor in life. It's also part of the reason why I want to work with kids. So much fun, so innocent, so exciting.

This weekend we're going to Disneyworld- honestly my favorite place in the world tied with the beach. We planned it last month and I have had this overwhelming sense of joy ever since. It feels like I have a nebula in my chest ready to explode with fun and excitement.

Don't wanna, Disneyworld May 16, 2009

Do you like to kid around? Do you think those that do are childish? What do you find fun?

Need a good laugh and a good ab workout?

7 minutes of your life that you will not regret!

sex is an expensive habit but it still makes me happy

Alpalcas, Camp Hill, Summer 2009

I went to visit my friends the alpacas today who live near the damn. Driving home from my appointment, I missed the exit I had proposed to take. Instead of going toward Happy Valley with overeager kids doing upside-down keg stands, I ended up on a cruise through the back roads that go up-and-down-and-turn-too-sharp-and-the-bottom of the mountain makes love to Sharky’s fender into a bender.

It started off with the 90s throwback power lunch hour on the local R&B station. In between the yeah babies and doing it rights I realized, I got the power and I like it like that. A semi-slight-circular detour smoothly turned into seductively teasing trails between skinny mountain thighs squeezing the nerves tingling out of the sensationally excited epidermis- not even shy about showing.

Permagrin positively plastered, provocatively prone peculiarities pinned possibilities precociously playing preciously proactive ponderings!

Suddenly, funkadelic cardiac beats pulsed vibrational rhythms right into a scattered brain. Thoughts were arrested as they boogied out into a ridiculous laugh. Silence at last! As if inhaling enough air in order to exhale the bubbles down to the bottom of the pool, a wave of refreshing water soothingly engulfed the space between wiggling toes and a glorious crown. Lungs lavishly lounged in the relief. Mmm, delicioso!

Action verbing thoughts turned sublime moments into mine. Mental masturbation mastered, I pulled into the driveway sincerely serene.

I realized again nothing ever goes as planned. And I smiled.

-Camp Hill, PA, June 2009

Sunnyside and the livin' ain't easy

Sitting in a waiting room overflowing with older Latinos takes me back to Miami. For two and a half hours, I was spouted back to my hometown on a brief mental holiday wondering why I have such a love-hate relationship with my Latin-fused roots.

This doctor's waiting room wasn't like the typical American office. As a matter of fact, it was a replica of the many offices I've waited in back home. The usual sense of quiet nerves was replaced with high-wattage conversations between relative strangers who became fast friends drinking cortaditos y pastelitos juntos in between meals.

That's what Latinos do: they talk a lot very loudly with anyone around them. The small cramped waiting room was the adulterated version of a high school cafeteria full of exuberant cries of laughter and frustration-- not to mention avid discussions of Lady Gaga and the latest Cristina drama. Silence is an unknown concept as is the preference to be alone.

My mother is like this. She will talk to anyone anywhere anytime. A trait that has mostly annoyed me out of sheer embarrassment. Now it just makes me laugh on a good day. But it's not just my mom- it's almost every Latino I've ever met or heard about. I'm the exact opposite. Reserved, quiet to downplay my mother's loudness, and selective with who I decide to share secrets with. An unmistakeable reflection of my own Americanness despite my bicultural identification. In my textbooks we (Latinos) are described as being passionate. An adjective I enthusiastically subscribe to when defining myself.

But this loudness, the constant chatter that creates the humming sound of a shopping mall food court gets to me. It vibrates my synapses and rattles my brain because sometimes I just need some quiet time in my head. Something NYC gives me too much of apparently. These extremes- white noise and constant rumblings make me crankily crabby. On vacations, it's nice to delve right into the loudness of tropical Miami or the eerie silence of too-many-thinkers in overpopulated Manhattan. But living in either one of these polarities daily makes my neurons cha-cha right out of my ear drums into a panicked suicide jump towards the ground.

Which is why I live in Sunnyside (Queens). A brief seven minute train ride gets me out of the roarings from my multicultural neighbors into the silence of the masses. Just like I do with my different names or rather alter-egos, I alternate between my conflicted surroundings.

Sunnyside, Queens January 2011

Sweet snoozing sympathy

I used to be able to wake up at the crack of dawn and get straight to studying, fully ready for the day before 6 am. Now, not so much. Months have gone by wondering what has changed. my internal clock? Hormone? Age?

I found the answer snoozing parallel to me. Jonathan is not-so-much a morning person. He likes to sleep in the mornings for the most part, which in all honesty isn't much at all. But when he is laying there peacefully dozing I can't resist crawling over and cuddling into the nook of his arm. Sometimes he stirs when he feels me. Other times I maneuver around the dead weight of his arm. But always, I love these brief moments-hours of serene affection.

Here's to savoring the subtle sweet moments instead of rushing to start a day.

Gaslight, February 2011

"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good"- Voltaire

I like to read. I like to read as both a distraction and a grounding.  I like to read things that give tips on improving my well-being. After all, I've been on this quest for about four years. I don't discriminate- I read scholarly articles, scholarly books (Martin Seligman, The Hendricks etc.), magazine quips, and especially Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.


Mrs. Rubin also sends out daily emails with links to articles among other fabulous resources. Last week I received this lovely bit. I think it's especially important because while they're not groundbreaking discoveries, they're easy implemented possibilities.


8 Tips for Feeling Happier During an Unhappy Time

1. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful. When things look really dark, it's hard to feel grateful, but remembering what's good in your life can help put problems into perspective. I have a friend who recently suffered a big disappointment at work. She said to me, "As long as my family is healthy, I can't get too upset about anything." This may sound like hackneyed advice, but it's really true.

2. Remember your body. Take a twenty-minute walk outside to boost your energy and dissolve stress. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. Get enough sleep. Manage pain. When you’re anxious, it’s easy to stay up late and eat ice cream -- and that’s going to make you feel worse in the long run. It's very tempting to run yourself ragged trying to deal with a crisis, but in the long run, you just wear yourself out.

3. Do something fun. Temporarily distract yourself from the stress, and re-charge your battery, with an enjoyable activity. Watching a funny movie is a reliable way to give yourself a pleasant break, and listening to your favorite music is one of the quickest ways to change your mood. When my older daughter was in the intensive-care unit as a newborn, my husband dragged me off to a movie one afternoon -- and that few hours of distraction made me much better able to cope with the situation. Be careful, however, not to “treat” yourself by doing something that’s eventually going to make you feel worse (taking up smoking again, drinking too much, indulging in retail therapy). My comfort-food activity is readingchildren's literature.

4. Take action. If you’re in a bad situation, take steps to bring about change. If you’re having trouble with your new boss, you could decide to try to transfer. Or you could change your behavior. Or you could find ways to pay less attention to your boss. Ask yourself, "What exactly is the problem?" It's astounding to me that often, when I take time to identify a problem exactly, a possible solution presents itself.

5. Look for meaning. Re-frame an event to see the positive along with the negative. Maybe getting fired will give you the push you need to move to the city where you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe your illness has strengthened your relationships with your family. You don’t need to be thankful that something bad has happened, but you can try to find positive consequences even in a catastrophic event.

6. Connect with friends and family. Strong relationships are a KEY to happiness, so fight the impulse to isolate yourself. Show up. Make plans. Ask for help, offer your help to others. Or just have some fun (see #3) and forget your troubles for a while.

7. Make something better. If something in your life has gotten worse, try to make something else better – and it doesn’t have to be something important. Clean a closet. Organize your photographs. Work in the yard.

8. Act toward other people the way you wish they’d act toward you. If you wish your friends would help you find someone to date, see if you can fix up a friend. If you wish people would help you find a job, see if you can help someone else find a job. If you can’t think of a way to help someone you know, do something generous in a more impersonal way. For instance: commit to being an organ donor! When you’re feeling very low, it can be hard to muster the energy to help someone else, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Do good, feel good; it really works.

The language of love

You and Me Forever: 3/11

This is my cat Oliver Rupert. He is my baby. Yes, I am a crazy-young cat lady. Andrea snapped this flick this afternoon in one of our cuddly-moments. I adopted him from a shelter when he was a wee 8 weeks old when I was living in Orlando, FL during my first semester of undergrad at UCF. I was trying to get out of a bad relationship and thought buying a pet would be a good transition out.

13 in MacBook @ 8 wks, 12/05

I don't want to insult Oliver and compare him to a dog. In reality, he is more like a person. (I know this sounds crazy). Oliver "talks" (you know, his "meows" sound like he's saying "food" etc), understands, and listens: he is completely empathic and communicative. He runs to the door when he hears me coming home. He follows me from room to room. He LOVES cuddling. He opens doors with his massive paws by sliding them under the door and pulls it towards him. And he has asthma- so he snores and purrs like a maniac.

And me? I treat Oliver like a little person- because quite frankly he's big enough to be one! He's a Mainecoon, meaning he's a ginormous fluffball. When he is stretched out he reaches halfway up to my ribcage from the floor and is 18 lbs of fur. I bring him along on trips. I give him a bath every other week since he has so much fur and gets dreadlocks (like mother like son). 

Cat Naps- 12/05

Spoonin', 1/11

And apparently, we spoon. Jon caught this moment during an afternoon nap. Yes, I am proud to admit that I'm a crazy cat lady.

Keep on keeping on

Yesterday I whined about exorbitant conference fees. But in all honesty the speakers and presenters are phenomenal. I believe I've learned more in this conference about multiculturalism and myself (even as a racial-cultural being), than I have during the course of my studies.

I have so much to write about the experience. But I'm going to save that for tomorrow when I have more time to process the entire experience. Instead, I'm going to share another one of my all-time favorite songs.

Four Tet- As serious as your life.

If I were to have theme songs playing in the background of my life, this would be on repeat. If there was a video camera inside my brain, this is probably one of the songs that would always be in the scene. This song is me: the rhythm of my thoughts, the electric pulse of my emotions.

Let's take a nap.

This is my lovely bed. And my BFF Mr. Pillo, who is 22 years old. Every night I greet my bed with open, gracious arms. Ready to be engulfed in it's comfort. Tonight, I am especially eager.


"Poem of Low Latitudes"- Mike Dockins

Let's crumple calendars,

smash watches.

Let's throw ropes around the Moon,

never stop swallowing its linens.

Let's recline the way the horizon does, 

every evening, yawning across Tropic lines.

Let's fill a hammock with limes.

Let's fall asleep on the reef,

stare up through clear water at trembling stars.

Let's climb a coconut tree & squeal like monkeys.

Let's ride a trade wind like paper airplanes.

Let's watch the sky wheel & wheelfrom under straw hats.

Let's count a billion stars,lose track at a billion minus one,

then start over, until we glitter with white sand.

Let's tumble together until the earth is flat.

Let me sail like Magellan into you,unfold the maps of your roundness.

Let's hope for the volcano.

Let's reinvent the godless universe ballooning.

Let's crawl into a conch shell & bang on a bongo.

Let's build a bonfirethat boils away the atmosphere.

Let's sublimate, evaporate, condense.

Let's get drunk on the real stars—

helium engines strummingour own cores to a glow.

Let me wear your warm skin.

Let's simplify: skin, nerve, synapse, nucleus, hydrogen, quark, the unpronounceable....

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you- Jung

I'm not going to write about how I've found two crucial flaws in my paper (1. not actually including  the theoretical perspective in the conceptualization 2. not addressing multicultural issues)  over the past 24 hours after thinking now twice that it was finished.

Or about all the readings I have to catch up on for my classes because of working on said paper.

Or the fact that after a month and a half of being "disabled" with a knee injury I was able to go to the gym and not whimper in pain (I'll see how I feel tomorrow...)

Instead. I'm just going to share my love for this song. A love so deep that held it as my ringtone on my old phone for five years on that precious, old school Blackberry pearl. A love that lights my day, my mood, and my overall thoughts whenever I hear it.

After all, lovin' is what I got!

:)

Dumplings

Summer of Love 2006, (Mom's house)

Flight to NYC for TC orientation, June 2009

305 Spring Break, March 2010

Andrea is one of my best friends. We have been since the 7th grade (1999) marking our friendship a whopping 12 years old! That's half of my existence!

As of tomorrow, she will officially be living with us. Needless to say I am super excited. Our other best friend is coming up to help her move her stuff. So this week will be full of goofy pictures and memorable antics. To hold true to my daily posts, I'm most likely going to stick to photo-bloggin' so I can fully enjoy this mini-vacation with them.

Sunday's (are not particularly a) Funday

If Sundays' could be ousted I would be happy(ier). But then that would make Saturday the new Sunday and then my dislike of the day would just transfer over. Sundays' have always been the looooooongest, sloooooowest day of the week for me. Likewise, if Facebook could be "permanently deactivated" I would be happy(ier). The movie was decent, the confessions it brought forth were interesting. But it is quickly becoming the denouncement of communication. Screen Actors Guild Awards, you are making this Sunday worth it thanks to your old Hollywood glamour pics. Oh, and for informing me that Christian Bale is Welsh! Where have I been?!

Instead of rambling on about dislikes and boring days, I'm countering the energy with pictures that make me happy.

Here's to positive reframing!

brothers from another mother

Happiness is:

Sometimes, happiness must take us by surprise to remind us:

"Smile", East Village,
Spring 2010

Other times, denying impending responsibility is necessary:

"Denial", East Village, Spring 2010

Usually, it involves your oldest friends:

"Old dogs", Soraya's 22nd, May 2009

And for a few lucky ones, it involves The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

"Taxi Romance", NYC, June 2009

Happiness, involves theme songs to get through the days:

 But ultimately,

SMILE ! + <3 = :)

Joy de Vivre

A good friend once advised me that life is not worth living if you cannot indulge in comida deliciosa.  My newfound  joy de vivre. This insight helped reality check me from silly body insecurities in my early college years.

While I'm not the type to fret over the appearance of a plate. Nor be particularly anal about how perfect it looks in pictures. This evening I flirted with my oven. After a rigorous day of physical therapy, cleaning, and being generally tired of not being able to do anything due to said injury, I baked. Double-time. And while baking isn't my forte due to above disregard for perfection regarding appearance, measurements, order of ingredients etc., I did it anyway!

With a little ingenuity, I turned this:

into this:

Bailey's Pumpkin Muffins

Instead of milk, I opted for Bailey's and added some cinnamon. I topped off the first couple with whipped cream and chocolate pieces. But they melted. Because I am also the type of cook that does not wait until the food has cooled down to eat slash "decorate" it.

And of course, I dabbled with one of my all time favorite foods:

3-cheese pie!

I used a basic dough recipe, Trader Joe's Tomato Basil sauce, shredded some reduced-fat smoked gouda (even the reduced version is amazingly delicious), Dubliner cheese (swiss & cheddar's brood), and Parmigiano Regiano.

Bad pictures be damned. It was all delicioso!