Celebrate (?)

Do you celebrate things? Occasions? Yourself?

I tend to not.

Today is my 24th birthday. Tomorrow is my graduate school graduation ceremony.

What have I been doing? Working & weeping.

I am not a birthday person. At all. They depress me though not because of the aging factor. And the fact that every single one of these 24 years, it has literally rained on my date (and whenever I choose to throw a party) doesn't help the cause.

I should be upbeat. I'm young, educated, and slightly successful.

But all day I have fought off a torrential downpour of tears. On the train, with clients, surrounded by coworkers. They just creep up on me again and again. And not just any tears. The tears you need to hold back because they hold so much ridiculous emotion with each tiny droplet. The ones that'l give you a migraine at the end of the bout from their intensity.

And here I am, rounding out the last few hours of my date, still glum as hell. Sometimes I tell myself I'll try to be better about it next year. Not let myself get so depressed. But it happens, year after year.

Here's to the day after my birthday.