Is is possible to "fight fair"? Sure, you can follow guidelines from Dr. Phil, but when does a discussion involving conflicts qualify as an argument? And even if you "fight fairly", is it possible to resolve anything without some sense of disillusion?
Somewhere between childhood and adolescence, I developed a powerful tool when dealing with people: I had the knack for cutting into someone at their weakest points. It wasn't something I purposely cultivated, but I had the tendency to bring it out when things weren't going my way. (Brat!)
Thankfully I've come to realize that it is not the a decent way to interact with people. And I've made ridiculous improvement in avoiding hurting others with said tactic. But sometimes (bordering on rarely), it still comes out. I lash out. And I hold on to that sense of power for a good minute. Until I realize what I've done. And apologize. And realize that I've lashed out usually because of my own issues.
Growing up doesn't follow a linear path. Zig-zagging back and forth with perennial vigor. Overcoming personal demons is a stellar task enough. And I'm starting to wonder whether being in a relationship helps alleviate their symptomatic flair-ups. Thankfully, I'm with someone who is patient enough to retreat until the riot is over and avoid an uncalled for parade of negativity.
Here's to never losing my personality, but learning how to temper my temper!